Something I never wanted to say
As much as I’ve acted like I’m okay and I’m strong I think you’ve realised that It was all a facade, the truth is I’m always afraid. I’ve always been hurt and hurt in such fucked up ways that It surprises me how much I’ve been through.
I have learned a lot and I’ve been through a lot enough to know when something is going to hurt. It makes me so afraid of everything and makes me afraid of opening myself up to someone that I can’t even say “I love you” to the people closest to me. But, I’ve come to learn that it’s okay to let yourself go and see where life takes you, always follow the wind and the wind will guide you.
You scare me the most, enough to make me do stupid shit. I’m terrified of you sometimes because I really did not expect… you. You’ve been there for the longest time and I never expected this to happen. But, you know in all this fear I can’t help but smile so much because even if It does hurt someday I am fucking glad because T… It’s you XD
I’ve known you for so long, I’ve seen you grow, I’ve seen you struggle and I’ve seen you cry. It’s not some random girl, It’s my friend and if it all goes to shit it’s okay cause I know people have left your side a lot of times and I’m not just saying this but 10 years from now if you really can’t take it anymore and you really feel suffocated and you need me. I will be there. Because, I got to see a side of you that turned my world upside down, You’ve changed me as a person and for that I will always be grateful.
So yes, I am afraid. But, just like how it was when we went parasailing. No matter how afraid I am, I just go for it and leave fear behind.